Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes : A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology – O'Brien Corey (2013)

This hilarious guide to world mythology retells Greek, Norse, Chinese, Sumerian and other myths in their purest, bawdiest forms. Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths Retold, strips away the watered-down, politically correct versions of the classics and presents these rude, crude and totally sacred stories loudly and with plenty of four-letter words. Cronus eats babies, Narcissus should perhaps have learned to masturbate, Odin obtains construction discounts through bestiality, Isis has poor taste in jewellery, Ganesh embodies an unplanned pregnancy, and Abraham is entirely comfortable with stabbing his son in the face. Zeus saves an unborn child by placing it in his thigh after destroying its mother by being too good in bed; the Egyptian universe is saved when Sekhmet becomes too drunk to continue murdering everyone; the Hindu universe is ruled by a married couple who pause their killing only for sweet dance parties on their enemies’ corpses; and the Norse goddess Freyja trades sex with four dwarfs for a glittering necklace. More dysfunctional myths await in the same spirit.